Nicki Minaj is breaking her silence about her father’s death.

After returning with new music, the rap queen penned a letter to her fans on her official website in which she addressed the “devastating loss” of her dad, who was killed in a hit-and-run in February.

Minaj admits it has been difficult to grapple with the loss. “Tho I can’t really bring myself to discuss the passing of my father as yet; I can say it has been the most devastating loss of my life,” she said. “I find myself wanting to call him all the time. More so now that he’s gone. Life is funny that way.”

She added, “May his soul rest in paradise. He was very loved & will be very missed.”

She also mourned the recent death of DMX. “The passing of DMX hit me like a ton of bricks,” shared Nicki. “Losing him felt like losing someone I grew up with. I adored him. Blessings to his family.”

The new mom, who welcomed her son last fall, has been enjoying motherhood. She revealed that her baby boy, who she affectionately calls “Papa Bear,” loves watching Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa and that he recently said “mama.”

“I’ve also been completely overwhelmed with joy & fulfillment in the world of Papa Bear,” gushed Nicki. “Each day creates a new & fascinating, magical memory that I hide far away into a little cute compartment of my heart; vowing never to forget any of it.”

Elsewhere, Nicki shared her love for The Crown and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom starring Viola Davis and Chadwick Boseman. “His acting knows no bounds. I can’t believe he was taken from us so soon. The man was on his way to becoming a full-fledged ICON!!!” she said of the late actor.

Minaj released her 2009 mixtape Beam Me Up Scotty to streaming services for the first time on Friday featuring three new tracks including “Seeing Green” with Drake and Lil Wayne. She is now working on her fifth studio album.

“I can’t wait to share these new vibez wit yall,” added Nicki. “It’s so important to always go back to basics for me. This world of smoke & mirrors can blind you. Be careful.”