As he gears up to release his new album Icarus Falls next week, ZAYN reflects on a fractured friendship on his latest song “Good Years.”

“I’d rather be anywhere, anywhere but here,” he sings on the emotional ballad. “I close my eyes, I see a crowd of a thousand tears / I pray to God I didn’t waste all my good years / All my good years / All my good years.”

The lyrics are rumored to be about his days in One Direction. “Too much drugs and alcohol / What the hell were we fighting for?” he asks. “Cuz now the whole damn world will know / That we’re too numb and just too dumb to change the story / Neither one, one of us wants to say we’re sorry.”

ZAYN previously released “Rainberry” and the Nicki Minaj-assisted “No Candle No Light” from his sophomore album Icarus Falls, which is due Dec. 14.