Jennifer Hudson broke her silence on the 2008 Chicago murders of her mother, brother, and nephew in an emotional interview on today’s “Oprah Winfrey Show.” The slim singer, who has previously refused to comment on the slayings and still won’t directly address them, touched on how she got back on her feet in the wake of their untimely passing.

“I try to do everything to say, ‘OK, will my mother like this? Will she be pleased? Will she be proud of that? How do I know she’s happy and she’s smiling down at me from heaven?'” said the tearful songstress. “And that’s what I try to go by and walk by.”

The 29-year-old Grammy winner continued by explaining how she would hear the voices of her mother and brother telling her to “knock it off” and snap out of her funk. Though she seemed to be in good spirits, she’s not entirely healed. “It’s such a shocking thing,” she said. “It’s a lot to take in. It’s like, ‘OK, is this real? Did this really happen?’ It’s hard to put it in sync with reality.”

Hudson is currently prepping the release of her sophomore album I Remember Me for March 22. Watch her performance the lead single “Where You At” here.