Two weeks after her suicide attempt, Fantasia Barrino is ready to open up about her dramatic overdose. The singer, who’s already back on the promo grind for her upcoming album Back to Me, recently spoke with VH1 for an episode of Behind the Music, sharing that she had attempted suicide after losing faith in life and looked for a way out.

“I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out,” explained the 26-year-old American Idol winner. “At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive].”

Fantasia, who found herself in a relationship with a married man who claimed he was separated from his wife, detailed the harrowing experience. “I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”

Her manager Brian Dickens, who discovered the star following her overdose, reflected on the situation as well. “She’d been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying ‘I love you.’ I wrote back, ‘I love you more.’ Then it hit me,” he said. “I went into Fantasia’s room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped.”

Fantasia’s episode of VH1’s Behind the Music will air at 9.P.M. on Tuesday, August 24, the same day that her new album will arrive in stores.