For the first time since a jury found Tory Lanez guilty of shooting her in December, Megan Thee Stallion is breaking her silence.

In an essay for ELLE, the Houston rapper opens up about the verdict and her experiences of the past three years, calling it the “final time that I’ll address anything regarding the case in the press.”

“When the guilty verdict came on Dec. 23, 2022, it was more than just vindication for me, it was a victory for every woman who has ever been shamed, dismissed, and blamed for a violent crime committed against them,” writes Megan.

As part of the healing process, she has stayed away from the spotlight. “These last few months, I’ve been healing after being in such a dark place,” she adds. “The physical and mental scars from this entire ordeal will always sting, but I’m taking the appropriate steps to resume my life. I’ve spent the last few months off social media and taking time off for myself, spending time with my dogs, hanging out with my manager, Farris, and doing a lot of praying.”

She addresses the attacks she faced from Tory and strangers online (“Imagine how it feels to be called a liar every day?”) and reveals that the situation brought her closer to her cousin.

“I talk to her every single day, but it never clicked that she was my best friend until I endured this experience,” she says.

Megan admits that she “started falling into a depression” and “didn’t feel like making music,” but had to keep going. “I was still smiling through the pain,” she says.

While she is still dealing with the trauma, she is now in a better place. “I’m in a happier place, but I still have anxiety,” she says. “Talking about being shot still makes me emotional. I’ve started journaling as a way to better process my thoughts, hopes, and fears. Prayer has also played a therapeutic role in my healing, because I can have honest and unfiltered conversations with God without any judgment.”

She continues, “I’ve accepted this chapter of my life as part of my journey, but I will not allow it to define my journey. I’ve been dragged through the mud, but I’m so happy that I’m able to finally come out of it with a new perspective.”

Megan says this will be the last time she addresses the case in the media. “My purpose is for these words to serve as the final time that I’ll address anything regarding this case in the press,” she says. “I understand the public intrigue, but for the sake of my mental health, I don’t plan to keep reliving the most traumatic experience of my life over and over again. I’m choosing to change the narrative because I’m more than just my trauma.”

Calling herself a “survivor,” she has learned to “embrace the highs and lows of my journey” and is moving forward with new music. “I’m excited to get back into music, because I have been so transformed. I’m playing around with new songs and new sounds that I can’t wait for everyone to hear.”

Lanez faces up to 22 years in prison and deportation when he is sentenced. Last month, his lawyers filed a motion for a new trial. A judge is scheduled to consider the motion on May 8.