Lauren London is breaking her silence.

In her first sit-down interview since Nipsey Hussle was killed outside his Marathon Clothing store in March 2019, the actress spoke with Jada Pinkett-Smith for “Red Table Talk” to discuss her late boyfriend’s legacy and coping with his death as part of an episode about how gun violence affects women.

During the interview, which was filmed prior to social distancing, Lauren revealed that she enjoys meeting people who have been inspired by Nipsey’s music.

“I love to meet people that Nip has really inspired, ’cause it feels like he’s still here, even though he is in a way,” said the 35-year-old mother of two. “It’s like his purpose that was completely outside of any of us… He’s touching people still. I find that when I run into people that tell me how he’s changed their life, what they’re doing with their life right now, it fills me up.”

London said that Nipsey would have loved to hear how his music impacted his fans. “When my kids are there and my kids hear it, they’re proud. Those are always very special moments,” she said.

When asked how she’s been dealing with her grief, London said she has turned to God. “And that’s been a struggle because something horrible happens in your eyes and you’re like, how God? Knowing that there is life after this life, it’s not easy,” she said. “I don’t always wake up on the enlightened side of the bed and the days that I don’t, I let myself ’cause I’m human… I let myself be human and I’m gentle with myself, and I find things that matter and so I try to live with a purpose.”

She also meditates and surrounds herself with loved ones. “People that see me, my heart, to be around me is very important,” she said. “Just love has been very helpful.”

The conversation also turned to gun violence and Jada asked how she’s raising her sons as black men in America. “What I instill in them is more about the police,” said London, who has a three-year-old son with Hussle, Kross, and a 10-year-old with Lil Wayne, Kameron. “How to handle yourself when you get pulled over. That’s more of my education, protecting them being black men in America.”

London also reflected on growing up around gun violence in Los Angeles. “Just in high school, a lot of the boys were in gangs. I just remembered that a lot of friends, by summertime they were gone… they had transitioned from gun violence.” While she never got numb to the violence, she got “used to hearing it.”

Plus, she spoke about meeting Erica Ford, who founded LIFE Camp, whose mission is to help women and children affected by gun violence. “They were practicing the same ideas and practices that I do in my everyday life,” she said. “They healed me in a lot of ways because trauma feels so lonely and just in talking to them, they gave me so much more than I feel like I gave to them. They gave me their stories and their rawness.”