Nipsey Hussle’s death has sent shockwaves across the music industry and has forever impacted those closest to him including his girlfriend Lauren London and his bodyguard.

On Tuesday (April 2), the rapper’s personal security guard J. Roc reflected on the sudden death of his boss and friend by posting several photos of them throughout the years on Instagram. Still numb from the devastating loss, he penned a tearful note honoring Nipsey and vowed to retire in the wake of the tragedy.

“Never in a million years I thought I would be writing some shit like this,” said J. Roc. “We haven’t made a 100 Million yet … we was suppose to grow old and I call u big nose shoot jokes on you all day… but instead I’m here in tears writing this I wish I was there I would switch places with you any day the world need you here I’m so confused , lost , hurt.”

He continued, “I lost a brother, best friend, a mentor all I can here you saying now is If it was me, I would tell you, ‘Ni**a, live your life and grow’ I’d tell you, ‘Finish what we started, reach them heights, you know? And gas the V-12 to the pipe and smoke’ but it sounds way easier then done.”

In his heartfelt dedication, he also promised to take care of Nipsey’s children before announcing his retirement. “I got the Babies and L forever I’m done with all this Shit I retire from being a bodyguard I love you HUSSLE THA GREAT,” said J. Roc.

According to TMZ, Nipsey was at his Marathon store on Sunday to take care of a friend, who had just come home after serving a 20-year prison sentence, by giving him some new gear before he met up with his family and friends later in the day. Nipsey’s team or his primary security guard was not aware that he was going to the store.

During his visit, he was approached by a man who police believe is 29-year-old Eric Holder. After a personal dispute, he opened fire on Nipsey and two others. Holder was arrested on Tuesday after being captured by the L.A. County Sheriff in Bellflower, Calif. His bail was set at $7 million.