Justin Bieber has been in the headlines for all the wrong reasons, but he’s ready to start anew. After taping a surprise appearance on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” on Wednesday, the 20-year-old singer released an apologetic video via his Fahlo account. In the clip, entitled “Here we go,” he admitted that he was “really nervous” about his interview and owned up to his mistakes.

“I was afraid of what people are thinking about me right now,” said Bieber. “It’s been a minute since I’ve been in a public appearance and I didn’t want to come off arrogant or conceited, or basically how I’ve been acting in the past year, year-and-a-half. I’m not who I was pretending to be. Often we pretend to be something we’re not as a cover up of what we’re truly feeling inside, and there was a lot of feelings going on in there.”

He showed a more vulnerable side as he addressed his past. “Being young and growing up in this business is hard. Growing up in general is hard, but I felt awkward up there,” he explained. “I felt like people were judging me and I really want people to know how much I care about people, and how I’m not that person to say, ‘I don’t give a fuck.’ I’m not that kid. I’m a person who genuinely cares.”

He plans to be a better person going forward. “Although what’s happened in the past has happened, I just want to make the best impression on people and be kind and loving and gentle and soft. Although people can call me a softy, that’s how my mom raised me.”

To celebrate his 21st birthday, Bieber will be roasted by comedians during a Comedy Central special in March. “I think it’s just cool to be able to laugh at yourself,” he told Ellen. “I’ve done some things that might not have been the greatest. I just want to be able to laugh about it and own up to some of the things.”